Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Lead With Love is a 35-minute documentary created to provide comfort, information, and guidance for parents who have recently learned that their son or daughter is lesbian, gay, or bisexual. The film follows four families as they share their honest reactions to hearing that their child is gay, including the intense emotions, fears, and questions that it raised. Interviews with psychologists, teachers, and clergy provide factual answers to parents' most commonly asked questions, as well as concrete guidance to help parents keep their children healthy and safe during this challenging time.
You can actually watch the documentary at the website. I haven't seen it yet, but based on the interview on RadioWest, it sounds like a good thing. I'd include a link to the RadioWest interview but it appears as though that section of KUER's website is now blocked at work. Lame. Anyway, you can go to KUER's website and navigate to the RadioWest page from there.
Also, if you live in Salt Lake City, there will be a free public showing of the documentary at the Salt Lake Library tonight at 7:00 pm with a panel discussion afterwards. Go, because I can't and I want to hear about it.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
And where we read everything and talk about it in coffee shops:
One more thing. I was looking at Google Analytics and it told me that someone found my blog by doing the following search: "if i am in a wheelchair can i have a lap dance?" I asked my friend Kristine, who comments here, and she informed me that of course you can! Not that she speaks from experience though...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Watch this TED talk. It's fantastic. There are a whole bunch of ideas in this 20 minutes to delve into and dissect and explore. There's one (maybe two) in particular though, that I want to explore in this post. The first is that in order to feel loved by and connected to other people, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. Althought I probably wouldn't have articulated it in this way when I started coming out, I realize now what that gave my coming out momentum was the love and connectedness I began to feel. I've never seen Pleasantville, but I think the movie probably provides a good visual. Everything changes from being in black and white to color. I was pretty much an island before and had a difficult time connecting with very many people. If someone expressed their love to me, I didn't believe it.
That brings me to the other idea I wanted to explore, the idea that those who have a strong sense of feeling loved and belonging have a strong sense of worthiness and vice versa. Worthiness is a word that I believe is used in Mormon culture in a way that has bastardized both it's meaning and many people's sense of self worth. It becomes a tool in creating islands out of people. People who don't feel worthy, have a more difficult time feeling connected to and loved by those around them. I think this is particularly true with gay Mormons.
The church has definitely softened some on the gay issue over the years and become slightly more nuanced in their approach, but there is still a disconnect between what the official church stance is and how it plays out in individual congregations. There's even some level of disconnect at the highest levels on what the stance is, as evidenced by the difference between Packer's recent conference talk and the edits that followed in the published version of his talk and the church's press release that was a response to the HRC's petition.
All of that is beside my point though. My point is that even though the language of the church's stance has changed to say that it isn't a sin to be attracted to the same gender, the reality is that it doesn't necessarily play out that way at the "street level." Some parents and local church leaders still encourage dating and marriage of the opposite sex. Others might not overtly encourage that, but might more covertly do it by encouraging gay members to work on diminishing the attraction or by asking them not to associate with other homosexuals. The official words say that it's not a sin to have a homsexual orientation, but the actions say please pretend like this isn't your reality.
Taking it a step further and tying in the first paragraph, the actions ask gay members to remain hidden and not seen, which in turn actually hinders so many gay members from being able to fully connect with and feel loved by those around them. I realize this isn't every gay members' experience, but I think it's a pattern that has been repeated enough to tell us something is wrong with how we're currently doing things.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Kiley did post recently about her thoughts on the prospect of living in Utah again. (As I'm typing this I'm having some extreme deja vu. Maybe I've already talked about this?) Anyway, I've had some of the same thoughts over the past year. It's almost been 8 years since I've lived away from Utah, and for most of that time I have never wanted to move back. I think I've gotten to the point however, where I could actually enjoy living there if I ever ended up there again. I think I've grown into myself a bit and maybe Utah is growing up a bit and I think we could have a pretty decent relationship. I'm not making an announcement about moving back, just saying I wouldn't hate it if I did. Below is a list of some of the things I'd enjoy/explore if I lived there (not to mention some incredibly cool friends who seem to be congregating there as of late).
The Copper Onion
Trevor Southey's Reconciliation Exhibit
Jung Society of Utah
The King's English
Sundance Film Festival
Pioneer Theatre Company
The Cathedral of the Madeleine
I realize about half of my list consists of restaurants. I blame this on Christina. She has turned me into a food snob.
I also know a couple of ladies who swear by happy hour at Sonic. What else? You who live or have lived in the SLC, what do you do there to feed your soul/tummy?