all my days

I've learned that pushing myself to complete physical exhaustion can lead to transcendent experiences.  When I ran the St. George Marathon about a year after my mission, I remember inexplicably breaking down into tears after I finished.  For some reason, I remember being alone for a while after finishing and just soaking in whatever the emotions were.  It was like runner's high but times ten.

I had a similar experience when I was running my second leg of Ragnar at 2:00 AM.  My blog fairly recently turned two.  The people I was there running with I met through my blog and we have forged some transformative relationships.  I got to thinking about all the many amazing people I've met through blogging, of the existing relationships that have been enriched and the personal growth and healing that has occurred through writing out and sharing my experience over the last couple of years.  I thought about the painfully and beautifully complex emotions that come from loving and allowing yourself to be seen and loved.  I became completely overwhelmed from all of this as I was running in the middle of the night through the Wasatch Mountains under a clear sky and a full moon all by myself, exhausted but at the same time exhilarated.

I had my iPod on shuffle and as I was having these thoughts and running under the stars, this song came on during my last mile to the finish line, as though wanting to make sure I recognized the beauty of what I was experiencing.



(All My Days, Alexi Murdoch)