I have a roommate for the summer. He moved in a few weeks ago and right about the time that he moved in, I found this under my pillow one night:
And now this severed hand keeps mysteriously showing up all over the place, but it turns out that he's quite handy. (ok, yeah, that pun was intended) He pours milk on my cereal in the morning.
Sometimes he likes to play the piano.
Or help out in the shower.
He pats my face dry after I wash it at night.
Brushes my teeth.
When we do donuts in an empty parking lot in the snow, he's the one who insists on pulling the emergency brake.
And after a long day, he pulls the bed down at night and tucks me in.
Did I mention that my new roommate is a mortician?
On a side note, I ate this for dinner tonight. This burger at Metrovino was recently named the best burger in Portland. I still think Yakuza's is better.
All I can say is... your new roommate rocks. That's beyond cool.
ReplyDeletehaha. I want one. I can think of a million uses. Love it!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post! Just awesome!
ReplyDeleteAWWWE-SOOOME! (Spoken with a Jon Stewart-esque singsong voice). In the spirit of bad puns, I really have to hand it to Mr. Roommate. Seriously, that act alone will ensure Mr. Roommate and everlasting place of honor in the Kingdom of Coolness, worlds without end. Creepy coolness, but coolness nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteTwo more things:
1) You must tell me where I get me some "Swisspers" cotton swabs.
2) Please reassure me that you did not eat that entire burger in one sitting.
1) Haha, I'm not sure where the Swisspers came from. That was Jarrett's drawer.
ReplyDelete2) I actually did eat that entire burger in one sitting. I only hate half of the pickle though.
Haha thats awesome. I put Miley Cyrus things around my apt for my roomie to find. She hates Miley, which of course only spurrs me on. Like a bully.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh out loud at work. Which is good, since half the time im like four steps away from becoming a serial killer. Humor works wonders. ;)
Oh my!
ReplyDeleteWho knew he was just a practical joker! I hope that hand is fake, and not one he stole from the funeral home!
ReplyDeleteI love eccentric people. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so wrong on so many levels, I love it!
ReplyDelete(I can't log in, because my computer thinks it's 1969... but this is Kristine.)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I love it! This post made me laugh so hard, I had to invite Kristen over to share the joy with me. :)
I didn't know Jarrett was living with you! He's cool. A few weeks ago, Kristen and I found ourselves with a question about dead bodies, so we were hoping we'd run into Jarrett soon. It's remarkably convenient to have a source for our questions about dead bodies!