This weekend I attended a Sunstone symposium in Seattle and part of that was a panel discussion of Mormon feminism. There were four fantastic ladies on the panel and they talked a little bit about their experiences “coming out” as Mormon feminists. Some of them spoke of the community they found through email lists before blogging came into its own and then blogging. Certainly that wasn’t the birth of Mormon feminism, but technology has certainly facilitated the formation of community. They spoke of the joy of being able to connect with others who felt the same way about the role of women in the church and in general, the comfort of being able to voice frustrations and doubts and fears in a safe space without feeling judged or looked down on.
Of course I couldn’t help but think of the parallels with the gay Mormon community that exists online. I also couldn’t help but think of all the fantastic people I’ve been able to meet and develop enriching relationships with. I’ve only been blogging for about a year and a half, but I’ve met some truly wonderful people who have profoundly impacted my journey of figuring out what it means to be gay and Mormon. I also feel like it has been a place for me to express myself and as a result, begin to find myself.
It’s also been a way to share a part of myself that I held private for so many years with both friends and family, and as a result, connect more fully with them. There was a lot of compartmentalization before. For those who knew the secret, I could feel more comfortable in being myself and letting go. For those who didn’t know, I had to remember to keep my guard up. Now I feel more integrated and whole than I did before. Much like George Costanza, I was always concerned about different worlds colliding because I was different things in different worlds. Now I find myself letting them collide and then sitting back and seeing what happens as a result. To me and to others. It forces me to stake down who I am, instead of trying to cater to whomever I’m with.
So this post is a love letter to all my peeps online and offline, gay and straight and in between, family and friends. Thanks for being a part of my community. <3
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<3 Love you, mister.
ReplyDeleteLove you too, AFW.
ReplyDeleteyeah yeah whatever. just get over here and do something about these flies!
ReplyDeleteI feel honored to be invited into your life after all these years. I learn so much from you and I'm amazed at your strength. Love you Jon!
ReplyDelete<3 Love you Jon. I'm honored to be one of your peeps.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to get to know you Costanza. :)
ReplyDeleteI can feel the love in this post.
ReplyDeleteHow it's laid right out.
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best.
Thanks for being the very best!
you're the greatest! love you jon!
ReplyDeleteit was such a delight to meet you, and I look forward to getting to know as much of the real you as you're able to share with me!
ReplyDeleteI so completely agree! I used to be a very Costanza compartmentalizer. I was different things with different people in different places, and it freaked me out when there was any overlap in roles. But for several years now, I've realized that it's actually the compartmentalizing that makes me so crazy. When I let people into more of my various worlds, and when I act more consistently across circumstances, I'm much happier. Because then I'm not acting, I'm just being. I'd like to say that I don't live in multiple worlds anymore, it's all one, integrated world, but let's be honest, I'm not there yet. Getting there. And loving it. :)
ReplyDeletecan I just say AMEN to whoever posted a sir john lion king lyric to describe your blog??? you know how I feel.
ReplyDelete