I think it's inevitable as a gay Mormon that at some point in coming to terms with your sexuality, you will also do a fair amount of wrestling with your religious identity. Everyone approaches it differently, but so far, I've taken the approach of sifting through the culture and the religion (I don't think anybody can really say exactly where one ends and the other begins) and pulling out stuff that resonates and makes me feel good about myself and my relationship with the divine and I keep it. Then there are the things that don't resonate with me or that I feel detract from my relationship with myself and the divine. Sometimes I have to chip away layers of accumulated calcified (that one's for you, Dan C.) cultural baggage to get to a pure and simple truth. Sometimes I'm not really sure what I've found, or if or when I've chipped away the unnecessary baggage enough to find the gem.
One idea that is commonly shared in a Mormon testimony is a gratefulness to have been born when we have the fulness of the gospel. This is what I'm currently dusting off and taking a look at, and it makes me really uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable because I think it leads to complacency. It also makes me uncomfortable because I don't believe that we have a fulness of the gospel. If we are downloading the fulness of the gospel, I think we are probably less than 1% to completion and right now I feel like we have a pretty slow connection and I think it's because of complacency.
I think the mind set of many is that we have the fulness of the gospel, so now we just have to sit around and wait for Jesus to come back, instead of seek to understand how the LGBT population fits into the picture, or what role our Mother in Heaven plays and what a knowledge of Her could teach us about ourselves. And what about gender? Is gender really eternal, and if so, what does that mean? Are we talking about physical manifestations of gender? What if someone is born intersex? What does that mean for them?
I could go on with the questions and I'm sure all of you could add your own and we could come up with a pretty healthy list. When you start to ask yourself these questions, it becomes easy to see that there are a lot of questions that the gospel doesn't answer. I think that in order to get the answers, we have to be willing to live into the tension that those questions create, remembering to breathe, paying attention to the stretching that occurs, the challenge to balance. Most importantly though, we need to remember our greatest responsiblity as humans on this planet is to love our neighbor as ourself.