I totally get that there will be naked men in the locker room at the gym. As a matter of fact, I’ve been known to be found naked in there from time to time. What I don’t get, is those men that go the extra mile in their nudity.
Yesterday at the gym I went to use the restroom and saw a man completely nude. Here’s the part where he went the extra mile: He had one of his feet up on the counter at the sinks under the hand dryer…drying his foot I guess? I’ll pause for a minute so you can get the image in your head. The sad part is that stuff like this happens all the time. Old naked guys are always putting one naked foot on the bench (probably where another old naked guy was sitting while putting on his socks) and leaning on his knee while talking to another naked guy about the weather or the stock market or how Obama is the anti-Christ.
A while ago I went into the locker room to use the restroom. Afterwards, I walked into the sink area to wash my hands and was greeted by a thick, hot, moist wall of stink. I looked around to try and find the offender and there was some old naked guy drying the briefs that he’d probably been working out in all week in front of the hand dryer. Keep in mind, those things can blow some hot air. I’ll pause and let you think about how that hot air contributed to the thick, hot, moist wall that assaulted me.
Locker room nudity is one area where it’s perfectly acceptable to be mediocre. No need to go the extra mile there.
Yesterday at the gym I went to use the restroom and saw a man completely nude. Here’s the part where he went the extra mile: He had one of his feet up on the counter at the sinks under the hand dryer…drying his foot I guess? I’ll pause for a minute so you can get the image in your head. The sad part is that stuff like this happens all the time. Old naked guys are always putting one naked foot on the bench (probably where another old naked guy was sitting while putting on his socks) and leaning on his knee while talking to another naked guy about the weather or the stock market or how Obama is the anti-Christ.
A while ago I went into the locker room to use the restroom. Afterwards, I walked into the sink area to wash my hands and was greeted by a thick, hot, moist wall of stink. I looked around to try and find the offender and there was some old naked guy drying the briefs that he’d probably been working out in all week in front of the hand dryer. Keep in mind, those things can blow some hot air. I’ll pause and let you think about how that hot air contributed to the thick, hot, moist wall that assaulted me.
Locker room nudity is one area where it’s perfectly acceptable to be mediocre. No need to go the extra mile there.
lol. Fortunately for me, women are more sketchy about their nudity as a general rule, so in my locker room they discreetly and quickly make the change from one set of undies to another while keeping their eyes down and facing the corner. Of course, I wouldn't mind so much if a woman did flaunt her nudity as a man, strangely. Something about man-junk dangling around so liberally in others' presence strikes me as so Seinfeld-esque.
ReplyDeleteI laugh all the time at Americans' cultural discomfort with what most of the rest of the world considers normal and natural. I can't speak for women, but for most guys who haven't been taught artificial phobias--including some pretty healthy, well-adjusted, smart people like Ben Franklin--being free of clothes from time to time is just healthy and feels good. You can breathe. Nothing sexual about it. Simple as that, really.
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