Big Heart

This weekend a friend of mine passed away. I attended his wedding in September. I got to know Matt when he started dating my friend Emily. He moved up to Portland this past summer so they could continue to date and they ended up getting engaged. While Matt lived here, he rented a room from a guy just a half mile from my place. I got to know Matt and his heart very well that summer and Matt had the biggest heart of just about anyone I knew. He had no guile and was always so inclusive. He knew about me and my situation. I felt like I could open up to him completely and never was there any awkwardness. He just loved.

He read my blog and would ask me about it occasionally. He noticed that sometimes I wouldn’t use a person’s real name and asked me why. He said that if I ever mentioned him on my blog, to use his real name. He wanted me to know that he was proud to call me friend. My friendship with him, though brief in this life, was very healing for me. Those of you who have wrestled with an attraction to the same sex, know what a gift that type of friendship is. And even if it’s other things you wrestle with, you know what a gift that type of friendship is. That language is universal.

Over the 4th of July weekend, Emily was out of town on a trip to DC with some friends that she had been planning for a while. Matt and I hung out a lot that weekend and I think that’s when our friendship was sealed. He and I, along with a large group of friends experienced the Blues Fest, Candye Kane and the toddler doll. He and I also went to see a movie that weekend and I locked myself out of my condo. Matt was able to break me in in about five minutes flat.

If we can’t have Matt’s huge heart here with us now, I suppose I’ll settle for having him pulling for us on the other side. I have been forever changed and so have the up to 9 other people who received an organ from him. I love you, Matt, can’t wait to catch up on SNL skits and listen to some MJ.