Dried Mangoes for Everyone?

Ok, first check out this post. It’s a pretty quick read. Brave, right? Now, if you’d like, check out this post. I can give you the basic details if you want, because the second post is kind of long and what I want to point out is at the end of the post. Basically, this guy taught Sunday School at his regional YSA conference in Seattle and the lesson was on apostasy. Towards the end of his lesson he brought up the fact that he is gay and talked about coming to terms with that when he was 19 and I think somehow weaved it into the lesson.

I read the first post a while ago, and when I first read it, my immediate reaction was that this guy is crazy. As I read his bullet points explaining why he did what he did though, it made much more sense. There are reasons to be open and comfortable about my situation. Good reasons.

I’ve thought about how open I’ve progressively become in the last year or two and the wonderful things it’s done for me. I feel like a much more whole and connected person. There’s not the compartmentalizing that was going on before. (This person knows and so I can act like this in front of him but that other person doesn’t so I have to act differently for him.) I was always very cognizant of who knew and who didn’t know and being aware of that definitely mattered.

Now it’s gotten to the point that it’s impossible to keep track of who knows and who doesn’t know and more importantly….it just doesn’t matter. I no longer keep track and therefore no longer try to tailor who I am to whomever I am with. I just am. I act instead of react. I feel whole.

Another side effect of being more open is that I am becoming increasingly more comfortable telling people. I’m finding people don’t care as much as I thought they would. I should state however, that I am in a young single adult ward in a fairly liberal city. My experience would probably be different if I went through the same process in a family ward in Boise, ID. Not that there’s anything wrong with family wards in Boise, ID.

ANYWAY, I talk about all of the above because I have been asked to teach the priesthood lesson at our multi-regional YSA conference in July. Before yesterday I would probably never have even considered admitting to being gay in a setting like a testimony meeting or in a class at church. I’m 90% sure I still wouldn’t, but yesterday and today I’ve been thinking, what if I’m teaching the lesson and it would fit perfectly into the lesson and even help enhance the message. What if the Spirit asks me to go there? Would I go there? Maybe…