Just let it sit and marinate

Yesterday after church I had a conversation with a good friend over muddy buddies, the same good friend with whom I had this conversation. We were talking about choosing to gracefully accept compliments from others. She had just received a very thoughtful email from a friend of hers in which he paid her a very sincere and much deserved compliment. Instead of dismissing his compliment by saying it wasn’t true or by awkwardly throwing an insincere compliment back at him (Why is that we sometimes treat complimenting like a bartering system? Someone says something nice to us and so we feel like we have to scramble and come up with something nice to say back) she chose to accept his compliment, and thank him for expressing what he did.

I had a similar experience this weekend. I recently came into contact with an old friend from high school (yes, through facebook). I’m pretty sure I haven’t talked to him since we graduated 13 years ago. That’s back before I had an email address, a cell phone, or a blog. I sent my blog link to this friend (I’ll call him David MF Neisen), therefore essentially “coming out” to him.

DMFN replied on Saturday and had some very insightful and kind things to say. I was reading his response on my phone that morning after I got home from the gym. I was kind of rushing about because I was leaving to have brunch with a friend in an hour and a half and had some things I wanted to get done before that. It occurred to me though, that I wasn’t allowing myself to fully absorb what he was communicating in his email and so I decided to sit down on the couch, give it my full attention, and marinate in his kind words.

I was kind of unprepared for what happened next. I was hit by a tsunami of emotion. And cried. For 20 minutes. I’m not exactly sure where it came from, but it was one of those good, cleansing cries. A colonic for the soul. The kind where you can almost feel someone holding you as it happens. (If you’ve never felt that, figure out how to go there. It’s well worth the visit.) I’m glad I decided to soak in DMFN’s marinade before brunch.

In other news, it’s supposed to be over 100 degrees in Portland for a good chunk of the week. That’s hot for these parts. A lot of people don’t have A/C (including me) because generally it’s not an absolute necessity here. If I melt, I love you all and hope life treats you well. Soak in THAT, suckas!