Wiiiiiiiiiiiith.....a HERRING!!

Sometimes I wonder if all this back and forth over Prop 8 is just a big fat red herring. We're getting distracted by the argument itself, instead of stopping to listen to what it is we are supposed to be learning. This isn't to say that I think we shouldn't be having the conversations, because I think we should. I just think we are missing a very crucial element that could help improve the conversation.

And it's not even really just about Prop 8, take any kind of disagreement you could have with any other person or group. I believe that how a person reacts to any given radioactive topic is more a Rorschach test that tells more about what's going on inside that person than it does about pretty much anything else.

Think about a recent conversation you've had or something you've read or observed that got you all sorts of riled up. You probably had some sort of immediate emotional reaction, and the instinct is to run with that immediate emotion. Odds are, your immediate reaction isn't just about what's happening in that moment. It's usually an accumulation of a lifetime of unprocessed baggage.

Maybe my vigorous support of or opposition to (insert radioactive topic here) is more a manifestation of my own fears or past pains. Maybe I've just become an emotional puppet for these fears and pains to continue playing out their tragic and painful story. That doesn’t mean these fears and pains are not legitimate. They are. They probably wouldn’t keep showing up and taking over certain interactions if they weren’t.

The truth is, they need to be acknowledged and processed. When I have a strong emotional response to something, I need to pause and sit down and listen to what my immediate reaction is telling me about myself. My reaction is probably telling me a lot more about myself than it is about the situation at hand.

If I take that time, then I’ll probably be more successful at processing my baggage and then it won’t control me. I’ll be able to be present with any given situation and be able to contribute to a meaningful conversation instead of turning into the emotional puppet and then trying to pass it off as righteous indignation.