Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Lead With Love

On my way to work this morning, I listened to the Fabreeze do an interview with the makers of a documentary called Lead With Love. The following description of the documentary is on its website:

Lead With Love is a 35-minute documentary created to provide comfort, information, and guidance for parents who have recently learned that their son or daughter is lesbian, gay, or bisexual. The film follows four families as they share their honest reactions to hearing that their child is gay, including the intense emotions, fears, and questions that it raised. Interviews with psychologists, teachers, and clergy provide factual answers to parents' most commonly asked questions, as well as concrete guidance to help parents keep their children healthy and safe during this challenging time.

You can actually watch the documentary at the website. I haven't seen it yet, but based on the interview on RadioWest, it sounds like a good thing. I'd include a link to the RadioWest interview but it appears as though that section of KUER's website is now blocked at work. Lame. Anyway, you can go to KUER's website and navigate to the RadioWest page from there.

Also, if you live in Salt Lake City, there will be a free public showing of the documentary at the Salt Lake Library tonight at 7:00 pm with a panel discussion afterwards. Go, because I can't and I want to hear about it.

4 comments:

  1. ah man! I have a birthday party to attend to. Give a girl some notice and I'd love to see this! Thank you for the info.

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  2. it was actually very well attended. the Q&A after the film was encouraging in that the main point was reinforced that this film and others like it indicate a shift in the approach parents are taking to dealing with and accepting their homosexual children. now the parents in the film are all working to perpetuate the idea of making home a safe and accepting place from the day the child is born so that if and when the child comes to a realization that they may be homosexual they will already know that they will be loved and accepted in the home. the feeling in the end of the discussion was that this sort of shift in mentality toward an accepting home environment existing BEFORE the child comes out- is an inevitability given the attitudes of the rising generation.

    it also helped me to empathize with a parent who may have this experience. it helped me understand that it is a process of "coming out" for them too which can take just as long if not longer than it did for the child to come to terms with themselves. they too have to come to terms with how this reality will impact their identity both internally and externally. but the psychologist suggested that the parent try to exhibit and express the tough and unpleasant emotions away for the child so that the child does not take on the emotional burdens of the parent in addition to their own.

    it would have been nice to hear from some who might have been a bit more vehement in their objections to their child's sexuality so that we could hear the rational behind the depths of angst such a parent might experience. but over all there was a very positive community spirit in the room. i could see this film being a very constructive ice-breaker and conversation starter for families in such a situation. i'm glad it's available online at any moment an individual or family may need it.

    i was also impressed with the fact that they offer a questionnaire for people to take before watching the film and then another for after, in order to possibly gauge any difference in mentalities or potential behaviors around the issue. it would be fascinating to learn if a film like this really can make a marked difference.

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  3. Thanks for the rundown. I had the same thought when I watched the video that it would be nice to see people who were more vehemently homophobic before and when their child came out to them, and the process they went through to work through that.

    The other thought I had was that I think I could have benefitted from something like this but with a section that catered more to kids who are dealing with their own internalized homophobia. All the kids seemed to tell their parents after they had come to terms with it being their reality with no desire to fix it, etc. When I came out to my parents, I was still viewing it as a mental illness that needed to be/could be fixed. I think that made it easier on my parents when I came out to them. Maybe if they read this, they can chime in. :)

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  4. in the Q&A all the children first told their parents they genuinely thought they were bi and then later told them they were homosexual. that reflected a bit of a shared process that allowed each of them to come to the reality a little more gradually.

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