Does anyone else love this picture?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
This one is for marriedtoamoho
Here's a picture of Cannon Beach. This one was taken almost exactly four years ago when my parents and my two youngest sisters came to visit. If you look closely, you can see the silhouette of two people on the beach in the reflection of the sunlight. Those are my two youngest sisters who I had "the talk" with over ice cream and a hot tub when I was in SLC. :)Last night Stina again failed to disappoint. There is a chef in Portland named Micah Camden. He used to be a make-up artist, but then he became a self-taught chef and owns a handful of restaurants all near the corner of NE Killingsworth and 30th. Last night he was celebrating an anniversary of some sort and was giving away free food at three of his restaurants: Yakuza, DOC, and Fats. Fats doesn't appear to have a website yet, so I linked to a story about it and Micah. Stina took me and Courtney and a cool new guy in the ward to check things out.
We went to Yakuza first and had sushi and kobe beef sliders. The sushi was really good (although I'm not a huge fan of sushi) but the beef sliders were incredilicious. I'm going back soon to get a full on kobe beef burger with the delicious feta. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, the other places had run out of food by the time we got to them. They have been added to the list of places to try out.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Off the beaten path to home base
You know how there are certain things that just bring you back to home base? Maybe it’s a song or a particular band or a piece of literature or work of art or a certain friend or a place. The instant you begin experiencing that person, place or thing, you feel connected to your inner voice and everything seems clear and as it should be. The Oregon coast does that for me. I was invited to go with some friends and stay in Rockaway Beach Saturday and Sunday. The picture above was actually taken in Oceanside, which is probably 30-40 minutes south of Rockaway, but it gives you a good idea. The weather on Sunday was perfect. Cool enough in the morning that it was chilly, with a light but visible mist in the air that gives the scene a little more texture. It warmed up into the low 70’s and after attending an hour of church, we made lunch and ate on the beach and laid and talked and soaked up the sun through the light chilly breeze. Perfection.
I was reminded on this trip that often the best experiences are off the beaten path. On the way to Rockaway we passed through Tillamook, home of the Tillamook cheese factory, a popular tourist attraction, especially on beautifully sunny weekends. We stopped there because a couple of people in the group had never been. You can look through windows at the machines that make the cheese and they have videos to watch and various cheddar cheeses to sample. They also have an eatery where you can buy ice cream and burgers and stuff. It’s definitely set up for tourists.
Being at the Tillamook cheese factory also reminded me of an embarrassing experience I had there about a year ago. I went crabbing out at the coast with my department at work for a team building activity and we stopped at the cheese factory for a lunch of burgers. Long story short, I tripped over a railing while carrying those little condiment cups full of ketchup and mustard. I threw my hands out in an effort to steady myself and in the process hurled my condiments against the wall, creating something reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting. I wasn’t successful and fell backwards onto the table we were eating at and sat on someone’s burger. Fortunately, someone grabbed the table and kept it from tipping; otherwise, I probably would have sent the table tipping, spilling all its burgers and fries on top of me. It was seriously like a bad slapstick scene in a bad Disney movie.
Fast forward back to this past weekend. Afterwards, someone suggested we go up the road to the lesser known Blue Heron French Cheese Company and check that out. There was no paved parking lot and there were only a handful of cars out front. Their headquarters was an adorable barn with donkeys and emus and llamas to pet. Emus kind of creep me out. We went inside and there was a man behind a counter handing out samples of cheese on crackers. He gave us a sample of smoked brie that blew. my. mind. We also sampled the white licorice ice cream that also blew our minds.
I was reminded on this trip that often the best experiences are off the beaten path. On the way to Rockaway we passed through Tillamook, home of the Tillamook cheese factory, a popular tourist attraction, especially on beautifully sunny weekends. We stopped there because a couple of people in the group had never been. You can look through windows at the machines that make the cheese and they have videos to watch and various cheddar cheeses to sample. They also have an eatery where you can buy ice cream and burgers and stuff. It’s definitely set up for tourists.
Being at the Tillamook cheese factory also reminded me of an embarrassing experience I had there about a year ago. I went crabbing out at the coast with my department at work for a team building activity and we stopped at the cheese factory for a lunch of burgers. Long story short, I tripped over a railing while carrying those little condiment cups full of ketchup and mustard. I threw my hands out in an effort to steady myself and in the process hurled my condiments against the wall, creating something reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting. I wasn’t successful and fell backwards onto the table we were eating at and sat on someone’s burger. Fortunately, someone grabbed the table and kept it from tipping; otherwise, I probably would have sent the table tipping, spilling all its burgers and fries on top of me. It was seriously like a bad slapstick scene in a bad Disney movie.
Fast forward back to this past weekend. Afterwards, someone suggested we go up the road to the lesser known Blue Heron French Cheese Company and check that out. There was no paved parking lot and there were only a handful of cars out front. Their headquarters was an adorable barn with donkeys and emus and llamas to pet. Emus kind of creep me out. We went inside and there was a man behind a counter handing out samples of cheese on crackers. He gave us a sample of smoked brie that blew. my. mind. We also sampled the white licorice ice cream that also blew our minds.
I grew up a conformist, but have developed an attraction to people who like to stray from the well beaten path. It’s served me well.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Taking a cue from Mark Wahlberg
This isn’t really going to be another installment about my trip to SLC. Well kind of. For a little bit at first. Then I’m gonna talk about something else. You’ll see. Just stick with me.
Saturday morning I had some time before the sealing (in which I was warned of the evils of phonography)and so I met a friend downtown for a breakfast of muffin tops. We didn’t really plan for that to be our breakfast, but we discovered there are precious few decent breakfast options in downtown SLC on a Saturday morning. The nice lady at the Nauvoo Café in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building said the raspberry muffin tops were delicious (and pretty much the only thing she had to offer) and so I gave one a whirl.
Before all that though, I was waiting for my friend to arrive and he texted me to let me know he was running late, so I decided to venture into the Evergeen conference that was going on. If you don't know what Evergreen is, go to their website and you can get a taste. The conference was in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, so I ventured in to the elevator bank to head to the appropriate floor. A sweet elderly missionary lady approached me and asked if I was there for the bishop's meeting (I was in a suit and tie for the wedding). I said that I wasn't. Then she asked, "Are you here for...the OTHER meeting?" I asked what other meeting and she leaned in closer and said in hushed tones, "Evergreen". I smiled and said that I was and so she directed me into the chapel where they were listening to the keynote speaker.
The keynote speaker was Bruce Hafen, who I believe is in the first quorum of the 70. Here's a link to his address. I only stayed for a few minutes of it, but read it after the fact online. There are some things in his talk that I thought were good, but there were lots of things that I disagreed with. I thought about going through the talk and explaining what I didn't like and why, but I don't have the strength. Instead, I'm going to take a general approach. Again, stick with me.
If you are gay and Mormon, you have probably heard the dragon story by Jeff Robinson. Since there are people who read my blog that don't fall into the fun "gay mormon" demographic, I’ll explain. Jeff Robinson is a well known LDS therapist who presents at Evergreen conferences and practices in Utah County as a therapist who works to help men overcome homosexual feelings. He often employs an allegory in which he compares homosexuality to a dragon. He says that LDS men who have homosexual feelings erroneously believe that they need to show up with a sword ready to go to battle and fight the dragon (in order to overcome their homosexual feelings). Instead, he says, you just need to walk away from the dragon and that if you do, the further you walk away, the smaller the dragon will get until he passes from out of view. That’s how you overcome homosexual feelings.
Elder Hafen used an anology that was similar in some ways but his was an angry dog. The thing that I don’t like about all this is that homosexuality is portrayed to be some big, ugly, angry beast that exists for the sole purpose of destroying me and dragging me down to hell. What if that’s not how I view the dragon? What if his name is Elliot and he’s not actually out to destroy me? What if we are friends and sometimes we go to lunch together? Maybe we like to go shopping sometimes, and he helps me find nice clothes that fit well. Maybe having him around makes me a little bit more compassionate and helps me reach out to those around me who don’t feel like they have a place. Perhaps Elliot makes me the type of man who is safe. Safe for women who have developed issues with men for whatever reason. I’m not threatening in the ways that a straight man might be. Maybe Elliot and I provide a safe place for these women to work through those issues and gradually learn to trust that there are good and decent men in the world. Maybe I’m grateful to have Elliot around and think that there might even be some divine purpose for having that silly green dragon as my friend.
Instead of doing battle or just walking away, maybe try sitting down and talking with your dragon, you know, Mark Wahlberg style. “Hey dragon, how are you? Say hello to your mother for me, ok?” See if maybe there’s something about your dragon that makes you a better, more well rounded person. Definitely don’t confuse him with another dragon called addiction, sexual or otherwise. They are two separate dragons and the addiction dragon actually IS out to destroy you. Elliot though, he’s not so bad. Don’t let the addiction dragon scare you away from having a healthy relationship with Elliot. He might actually be around to help make you a better person if you give him a chance.
Saturday morning I had some time before the sealing (in which I was warned of the evils of phonography)and so I met a friend downtown for a breakfast of muffin tops. We didn’t really plan for that to be our breakfast, but we discovered there are precious few decent breakfast options in downtown SLC on a Saturday morning. The nice lady at the Nauvoo Café in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building said the raspberry muffin tops were delicious (and pretty much the only thing she had to offer) and so I gave one a whirl.
Before all that though, I was waiting for my friend to arrive and he texted me to let me know he was running late, so I decided to venture into the Evergeen conference that was going on. If you don't know what Evergreen is, go to their website and you can get a taste. The conference was in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, so I ventured in to the elevator bank to head to the appropriate floor. A sweet elderly missionary lady approached me and asked if I was there for the bishop's meeting (I was in a suit and tie for the wedding). I said that I wasn't. Then she asked, "Are you here for...the OTHER meeting?" I asked what other meeting and she leaned in closer and said in hushed tones, "Evergreen". I smiled and said that I was and so she directed me into the chapel where they were listening to the keynote speaker.
The keynote speaker was Bruce Hafen, who I believe is in the first quorum of the 70. Here's a link to his address. I only stayed for a few minutes of it, but read it after the fact online. There are some things in his talk that I thought were good, but there were lots of things that I disagreed with. I thought about going through the talk and explaining what I didn't like and why, but I don't have the strength. Instead, I'm going to take a general approach. Again, stick with me.
If you are gay and Mormon, you have probably heard the dragon story by Jeff Robinson. Since there are people who read my blog that don't fall into the fun "gay mormon" demographic, I’ll explain. Jeff Robinson is a well known LDS therapist who presents at Evergreen conferences and practices in Utah County as a therapist who works to help men overcome homosexual feelings. He often employs an allegory in which he compares homosexuality to a dragon. He says that LDS men who have homosexual feelings erroneously believe that they need to show up with a sword ready to go to battle and fight the dragon (in order to overcome their homosexual feelings). Instead, he says, you just need to walk away from the dragon and that if you do, the further you walk away, the smaller the dragon will get until he passes from out of view. That’s how you overcome homosexual feelings.
Elder Hafen used an anology that was similar in some ways but his was an angry dog. The thing that I don’t like about all this is that homosexuality is portrayed to be some big, ugly, angry beast that exists for the sole purpose of destroying me and dragging me down to hell. What if that’s not how I view the dragon? What if his name is Elliot and he’s not actually out to destroy me? What if we are friends and sometimes we go to lunch together? Maybe we like to go shopping sometimes, and he helps me find nice clothes that fit well. Maybe having him around makes me a little bit more compassionate and helps me reach out to those around me who don’t feel like they have a place. Perhaps Elliot makes me the type of man who is safe. Safe for women who have developed issues with men for whatever reason. I’m not threatening in the ways that a straight man might be. Maybe Elliot and I provide a safe place for these women to work through those issues and gradually learn to trust that there are good and decent men in the world. Maybe I’m grateful to have Elliot around and think that there might even be some divine purpose for having that silly green dragon as my friend.
Instead of doing battle or just walking away, maybe try sitting down and talking with your dragon, you know, Mark Wahlberg style. “Hey dragon, how are you? Say hello to your mother for me, ok?” See if maybe there’s something about your dragon that makes you a better, more well rounded person. Definitely don’t confuse him with another dragon called addiction, sexual or otherwise. They are two separate dragons and the addiction dragon actually IS out to destroy you. Elliot though, he’s not so bad. Don’t let the addiction dragon scare you away from having a healthy relationship with Elliot. He might actually be around to help make you a better person if you give him a chance.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Hello Blog. I've missed you.
I made the trip to SLC and it was kind of big. I was telling a friend beforehand about everything that would be going on this past weekend, and as I was telling her, I began to realize that the trip had a lot of potential for disaster. Fortunately, it went really well.
I moved up to Portland almost 7 years ago after I graduated from BYU. For the past several years whenever I go to visit family in Utah, I have always felt a little bit lost and out of sorts. Portland became the place where I came into my own. I’ve established my own social circles. I’ve gotten control of my life. I’ve learned and grown and become an adult. Then I go back to SLC and suddenly young Jon takes over. I slip into my old family role. I disengage and fade into the background and feel lost and like I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do and who I’m supposed to be.
This trip a lot of that changed. Somehow I figured out how to bring adult Jon with me. There were several factors that I think contributed to that. One, I’ve been working through a lot of issues that I have/had with my parents. I’m learning to accept them for who they are and not the ideal that I would like them to be. I realize that they are figuring things out as they go along just like I am. I’m also realizing that who they are doesn’t necessarily need to dictate who I am. I take the good things they’ve taught me and integrate them into the person that I want to be.
Another thing that was different was that this was the first time seeing friends in Utah that I came out to in the last several months over the phone. Utah became the place where nobody knew about me and so I felt like I couldn’t be myself. This time, however, I felt like my whole self was able to show up. I have a lot of incredible friends who have shown nothing but love and support, no matter what path I end up following. I wish I could explain what that type of unconditional love does for me. It’s a healing type of love. It’s a love that helps me understand a little bit more of the unconditional love God feels for me. I think we too often picture God as one who places restrictions on His love for us. We think He only loves us as long as we do what He wants us to, because that’s generally what we experience with earthly relationships. It changes the game when you realize and internalize the fact that no matter how much you might screw up your life, there is a God who loves you still and always. Thanks, friends, for helping me experience a little bit of that. It was also nice having Portland friends in SLC. I think all of these things helped me mix two worlds together into one nice homogenous mixture. I think that's one reason why I decided to open up my blog to people from all areas of my life. I don't want to be different things to different groups of people. I want to be homogenous. (And when I say homogenous, I mean uniform and the same throughout instead of compartmentalized pieces of myself. That's not a clever combination of the words homosexual and erogenous. Sorry, I had to do it.)
This was also the trip where I came out to my two youngest sisters. The talk went well. Thanks everyone for your advice and kind words. It ended up being a really great teaching moment and helped me feel closer to them. My oldest sister joined me in telling them and we tried to make it casual. We sat around my sister’s hot tub and soaked our feet and ate ice cream (um, oatmeal cookie batter ice cream with Reese’s peanut butter cups at Coldstone is pretty much amazing) and I tried to treat them like adults and make them feel like they could ask questions and I think I was successful. It was nice to have my oldest sister there to chime in as well and provide her perspective. She’s very close to the two youngest sisters.
This weekend was also, of course, my friends’ wedding. It was a great experience. Emily’s parents aren’t members of the church and so she asked me to be one of the witnesses. It was great to witness two people I love begin their life together. The sealer was probably like 114. Spencer W. Kimball set him apart as a sealer over 30 years ago. He actually kind of looked like SWK. If he’d had a raspy voice, I would have thought they resurrected him early to perform the sealing. At one point after the ceremony, he was giving them advice and told them to avoid “phonography”. At first I thought I had just heard it wrong but he pronounced it that way at least 3 or 4 times and said it could be found on the internet. Anyway, I guess I’ll have to take back the phonograph that I got them for their wedding. Lame. :)
There’s more to write about, but I think I’ll break it up into separate posts. Look forward to hearing about my brief 10 minute stint at the Evergreen conference/hanging out with O-Mo, brunch with my long lost friend Margaret, an afternoon at BYU, and group therapy with my parents.
One more entertaining side note. This was the bed I slept in while I was there. Thanks Mo!
I moved up to Portland almost 7 years ago after I graduated from BYU. For the past several years whenever I go to visit family in Utah, I have always felt a little bit lost and out of sorts. Portland became the place where I came into my own. I’ve established my own social circles. I’ve gotten control of my life. I’ve learned and grown and become an adult. Then I go back to SLC and suddenly young Jon takes over. I slip into my old family role. I disengage and fade into the background and feel lost and like I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do and who I’m supposed to be.
This trip a lot of that changed. Somehow I figured out how to bring adult Jon with me. There were several factors that I think contributed to that. One, I’ve been working through a lot of issues that I have/had with my parents. I’m learning to accept them for who they are and not the ideal that I would like them to be. I realize that they are figuring things out as they go along just like I am. I’m also realizing that who they are doesn’t necessarily need to dictate who I am. I take the good things they’ve taught me and integrate them into the person that I want to be.
Another thing that was different was that this was the first time seeing friends in Utah that I came out to in the last several months over the phone. Utah became the place where nobody knew about me and so I felt like I couldn’t be myself. This time, however, I felt like my whole self was able to show up. I have a lot of incredible friends who have shown nothing but love and support, no matter what path I end up following. I wish I could explain what that type of unconditional love does for me. It’s a healing type of love. It’s a love that helps me understand a little bit more of the unconditional love God feels for me. I think we too often picture God as one who places restrictions on His love for us. We think He only loves us as long as we do what He wants us to, because that’s generally what we experience with earthly relationships. It changes the game when you realize and internalize the fact that no matter how much you might screw up your life, there is a God who loves you still and always. Thanks, friends, for helping me experience a little bit of that. It was also nice having Portland friends in SLC. I think all of these things helped me mix two worlds together into one nice homogenous mixture. I think that's one reason why I decided to open up my blog to people from all areas of my life. I don't want to be different things to different groups of people. I want to be homogenous. (And when I say homogenous, I mean uniform and the same throughout instead of compartmentalized pieces of myself. That's not a clever combination of the words homosexual and erogenous. Sorry, I had to do it.)
This was also the trip where I came out to my two youngest sisters. The talk went well. Thanks everyone for your advice and kind words. It ended up being a really great teaching moment and helped me feel closer to them. My oldest sister joined me in telling them and we tried to make it casual. We sat around my sister’s hot tub and soaked our feet and ate ice cream (um, oatmeal cookie batter ice cream with Reese’s peanut butter cups at Coldstone is pretty much amazing) and I tried to treat them like adults and make them feel like they could ask questions and I think I was successful. It was nice to have my oldest sister there to chime in as well and provide her perspective. She’s very close to the two youngest sisters.
This weekend was also, of course, my friends’ wedding. It was a great experience. Emily’s parents aren’t members of the church and so she asked me to be one of the witnesses. It was great to witness two people I love begin their life together. The sealer was probably like 114. Spencer W. Kimball set him apart as a sealer over 30 years ago. He actually kind of looked like SWK. If he’d had a raspy voice, I would have thought they resurrected him early to perform the sealing. At one point after the ceremony, he was giving them advice and told them to avoid “phonography”. At first I thought I had just heard it wrong but he pronounced it that way at least 3 or 4 times and said it could be found on the internet. Anyway, I guess I’ll have to take back the phonograph that I got them for their wedding. Lame. :)
There’s more to write about, but I think I’ll break it up into separate posts. Look forward to hearing about my brief 10 minute stint at the Evergreen conference/hanging out with O-Mo, brunch with my long lost friend Margaret, an afternoon at BYU, and group therapy with my parents.
One more entertaining side note. This was the bed I slept in while I was there. Thanks Mo!
Monday, September 14, 2009
2 Questions
Question number one. Is anyone else out there going to the Evergreen conference this weekend? I am going to be in town for a wedding. I’m not so interested in the conference itself, but thought it might be cool to meet people and put a face to a blog if anyone else is going to be there. If I do go, it would probably be just for a little bit Saturday morning. I’d also be up for maybe just meeting for a bite to eat nearby as well. Let me know. Leave a comment or send me an email.
Question number two. This one requires some background. I come from a family of six children. Four of us are all relatively close in age and then there is a 12 year gap and then the two youngest who are currently teenagers. Same parents and everything, the last two just showed up a little bit later. I do remember, however, having to explain to them when they were younger that I came from the same parents. They would refer to “my mom” and “my dad” when talking to me about our parents. I had just graduated from high school when the youngest was born.
So anyway, on this trip I am planning to talk to the two youngest about my, ahem, situation. I told the rest of my family about a year after my mission when the two youngest were 3 and 4, so they weren’t really involved in that discussion. Now most of my family and friends know and I’d rather they hear it from me than elsewhere. Plus, I think it could be a good teaching opportunity. I wouldn’t say I’m nervous about talking with them (I probably will be in the moment though) but I’m definitely giving it more thought than I have when telling others. I’ve never had a bad experience telling anyone and I don’t think this will be any different, but I think talking about it with two middle school aged girls requires a little more explanation and thought. I’m curious if anyone has any experience talking to hormonal teenage girls about homosexuality and if you have any tips or advice. Same as question one, leave a comment or send me an email, whichever works best for you.
Question number two. This one requires some background. I come from a family of six children. Four of us are all relatively close in age and then there is a 12 year gap and then the two youngest who are currently teenagers. Same parents and everything, the last two just showed up a little bit later. I do remember, however, having to explain to them when they were younger that I came from the same parents. They would refer to “my mom” and “my dad” when talking to me about our parents. I had just graduated from high school when the youngest was born.
So anyway, on this trip I am planning to talk to the two youngest about my, ahem, situation. I told the rest of my family about a year after my mission when the two youngest were 3 and 4, so they weren’t really involved in that discussion. Now most of my family and friends know and I’d rather they hear it from me than elsewhere. Plus, I think it could be a good teaching opportunity. I wouldn’t say I’m nervous about talking with them (I probably will be in the moment though) but I’m definitely giving it more thought than I have when telling others. I’ve never had a bad experience telling anyone and I don’t think this will be any different, but I think talking about it with two middle school aged girls requires a little more explanation and thought. I’m curious if anyone has any experience talking to hormonal teenage girls about homosexuality and if you have any tips or advice. Same as question one, leave a comment or send me an email, whichever works best for you.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sometimes I underestimate myself and change subjects
Last week I auditioned for a choir. It’s a really great chamber choir of about 16-20 voices. They formed about a year ago, I think, and I heard them perform in May. The concert was fantastic and it’s a group of very talented musicians. I remember thinking at the time how great it would be to sing with a group like that, but was probably out of reach for me at the moment. I’ve sung in choirs before, but mostly really large choirs where it’s pretty easy to hide and slide by and I’ve had no formal one-on-one training.
Last week they had auditions and I thought I’d give it a shot, even though I thought it might be a long one. I’m fairly insecure when it comes to my singing voice. I’m fine when I’m singing with others, but ask me to sing alone for an audience of any size and you might as well ask me to stand naked in front of the audience. Part of the audition involved us learning a few lines of a song and then going down the line and each of us taking a turn singing the three lines alone (but not naked). I briefly considered bolting from the room.
Anyway, long story short, I found out on Saturday that I made it in. We had our first rehearsal last night. I’m really looking forward to the experience. I have a couple of good friends who are already in the choir, and it will be nice to be able to spend more time with them. This is where our Christmas concert is going to be:
Last week they had auditions and I thought I’d give it a shot, even though I thought it might be a long one. I’m fairly insecure when it comes to my singing voice. I’m fine when I’m singing with others, but ask me to sing alone for an audience of any size and you might as well ask me to stand naked in front of the audience. Part of the audition involved us learning a few lines of a song and then going down the line and each of us taking a turn singing the three lines alone (but not naked). I briefly considered bolting from the room.
Anyway, long story short, I found out on Saturday that I made it in. We had our first rehearsal last night. I’m really looking forward to the experience. I have a couple of good friends who are already in the choir, and it will be nice to be able to spend more time with them. This is where our Christmas concert is going to be:
It’s not a church sponsored choir, but everyone in the choir is LDS. We all introduced ourselves and were told to give our name, where we are from and how many kids we have. Yeah. I said my name, where I live and that I had no kids….that I knew of, anyway. This got a good laugh from some and a hesitant I'm-not-sure-whether-you're-joking-or-not smile from others.
Changing subjects entirely, I have a friend on facebook. I don’t know her all that well, but she often posts very angst ridden status updates. Many times they are song lyrics about broken hearts or something vague enough that it’s obvious she wants someone to ask her what’s wrong. This morning there was something about the pain being just too much. I thought for a split second about clicking on “Like”, but I decided not to. This probably destroys any false ideas you might have had about me being compassionate from my last post.
And changing subjects yet again, I have to call attention to a post on my friend Courtney’s blog. It’s in my shared items, but I thought it was worthy of a special shout out just in case nobody looks at those, because it’s so horrifically tacky. (Not Courtney, she’s nothing but classy.)
Changing subjects entirely, I have a friend on facebook. I don’t know her all that well, but she often posts very angst ridden status updates. Many times they are song lyrics about broken hearts or something vague enough that it’s obvious she wants someone to ask her what’s wrong. This morning there was something about the pain being just too much. I thought for a split second about clicking on “Like”, but I decided not to. This probably destroys any false ideas you might have had about me being compassionate from my last post.
And changing subjects yet again, I have to call attention to a post on my friend Courtney’s blog. It’s in my shared items, but I thought it was worthy of a special shout out just in case nobody looks at those, because it’s so horrifically tacky. (Not Courtney, she’s nothing but classy.)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Mourning with those who mourn. At the laundromat.
I celebrated part of Labor Day yesterday at the laundromat. I had a couple of bedspreads that I’ve wanted to launder but that are too big for my machines at home. While I was waiting, I spoke to a good friend whose father is dying. She spoke of the difficulty of watching him deteriorate both mentally and physically. I know her parents fairly well also. They are active and full of life and generous and laugh a lot. I have many great memories of time spent laughing with them. I felt inept and awkward at trying to provide words of support and comfort. This friend has helped me through some very difficult things and I felt frustrated that all I could do was offer a few meager words and tell her that I love her.
We spoke for only 10 minutes and afterwards I sat waiting for my laundry to finish. I started thinking about my friendship with this person and how it’s morphed and changed and matured over time. I thought about all the many things we’ve helped each other through and all the things we’ve celebrated. I thought about how sweet yet painful it must be to help prepare and usher out of this life the man who helped welcome and usher you into this life. I looked down and pretended to fidget with my phone as I tried unsuccessfully to keep from crying.
If I know this friend at all, she would apologize for making me cry or “bringing me down”, to which I’d reply, “Nonsense.” It’s an honor to temporarily help shoulder part of the grief of someone you care about.
We spoke for only 10 minutes and afterwards I sat waiting for my laundry to finish. I started thinking about my friendship with this person and how it’s morphed and changed and matured over time. I thought about all the many things we’ve helped each other through and all the things we’ve celebrated. I thought about how sweet yet painful it must be to help prepare and usher out of this life the man who helped welcome and usher you into this life. I looked down and pretended to fidget with my phone as I tried unsuccessfully to keep from crying.
If I know this friend at all, she would apologize for making me cry or “bringing me down”, to which I’d reply, “Nonsense.” It’s an honor to temporarily help shoulder part of the grief of someone you care about.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
If you really wanna trash someone
Over there to the right in my shared items box is a link to an article on Politico.com. The title of the article is "Sanford accused of trashing Bauer". In case you aren't up to speed, Mark Sanford is the current governor of South Carolina and Andre Bauer is the lieutenant governor (or vice-governor). Recently Sanford went on a trip to Argentina to visit a woman who he has been having an affair with. He was gone for something like 5 days and didn't really tell anyone where he was going. For future reference, if you are ever governor of a state, people will notice you're gone if you leave for 5 days and don't tell anyone where you're going.
There have been calls for Sanford to resign by many, including vice-governor Andre Bauer, who would most likely assume the role of governor if Sanford did step down. So apparently Sanford and Bauer aren't getting along and Sanford has resorted to "trashing Bauer" as the title of the article states, by allegedly spreading rumors that Bauer is gay. Really? Is this where we're at? Am I in middle school again?
It's unclear wheather or not Sanford actually is spreading the rumors, but I don't think that's nearly as important to point out as this: I think it's hilarious (by which I mean ridiculous) that it's generally believed that the worst thing you can do to someone is tell everyone he's gay. The word "trashed" is used in the title. Words like "smear campaign" and "character assassination" are used in the body.
Part of the problem is that when you say the word gay, people assume that means random sex in airport bathrooms or other sordid trysts. I guess in a way though, I can take solace in the fact that the worst someone can do to me is call me gay. Bring it!
There have been calls for Sanford to resign by many, including vice-governor Andre Bauer, who would most likely assume the role of governor if Sanford did step down. So apparently Sanford and Bauer aren't getting along and Sanford has resorted to "trashing Bauer" as the title of the article states, by allegedly spreading rumors that Bauer is gay. Really? Is this where we're at? Am I in middle school again?
It's unclear wheather or not Sanford actually is spreading the rumors, but I don't think that's nearly as important to point out as this: I think it's hilarious (by which I mean ridiculous) that it's generally believed that the worst thing you can do to someone is tell everyone he's gay. The word "trashed" is used in the title. Words like "smear campaign" and "character assassination" are used in the body.
Part of the problem is that when you say the word gay, people assume that means random sex in airport bathrooms or other sordid trysts. I guess in a way though, I can take solace in the fact that the worst someone can do to me is call me gay. Bring it!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
How disturbing is this
I had a dream last night that people thought I died. I think I only came close to death though, I didn't totally die. Because people thought I was dead, they had me embalmed. I remember lying on the cold steel table and feeling the warm fluid move through my body as it replaced my blood and interstitial fluids. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after the embalming process was finished that they discovered that I wasn't actually dead. For some strange reason, the embalming didn't kill me either. The rest of my dream was spent in search of someone who could disembalm me. There were rumors that people existed who could perform such a task, but the difficult part was finding them. There was a faceless, genderless person who was assisting me in my search. I woke up before I found a disembalmer, so if anyone is in need of one, sorry, I can't help you.
If you haven't just recently eaten or are not going to eat for a while, the wikipedia article on the embalming process linked above is actually quite interesting.
People are probably slowly backing away from this blog now...
If you haven't just recently eaten or are not going to eat for a while, the wikipedia article on the embalming process linked above is actually quite interesting.
People are probably slowly backing away from this blog now...
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