Question number one. Is anyone else out there going to the Evergreen conference this weekend? I am going to be in town for a wedding. I’m not so interested in the conference itself, but thought it might be cool to meet people and put a face to a blog if anyone else is going to be there. If I do go, it would probably be just for a little bit Saturday morning. I’d also be up for maybe just meeting for a bite to eat nearby as well. Let me know. Leave a comment or send me an email.
Question number two. This one requires some background. I come from a family of six children. Four of us are all relatively close in age and then there is a 12 year gap and then the two youngest who are currently teenagers. Same parents and everything, the last two just showed up a little bit later. I do remember, however, having to explain to them when they were younger that I came from the same parents. They would refer to “my mom” and “my dad” when talking to me about our parents. I had just graduated from high school when the youngest was born.
So anyway, on this trip I am planning to talk to the two youngest about my, ahem, situation. I told the rest of my family about a year after my mission when the two youngest were 3 and 4, so they weren’t really involved in that discussion. Now most of my family and friends know and I’d rather they hear it from me than elsewhere. Plus, I think it could be a good teaching opportunity. I wouldn’t say I’m nervous about talking with them (I probably will be in the moment though) but I’m definitely giving it more thought than I have when telling others. I’ve never had a bad experience telling anyone and I don’t think this will be any different, but I think talking about it with two middle school aged girls requires a little more explanation and thought. I’m curious if anyone has any experience talking to hormonal teenage girls about homosexuality and if you have any tips or advice. Same as question one, leave a comment or send me an email, whichever works best for you.
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i have no adequate advice, but good luck and you're completely awesome and i'm sure you'll think of just the right think to say to your siblings when the time comes prettyjon :)
ReplyDeleteJust be sure to tell them you will lend your fabulous fashion advice when they go prom shopping, and I'm sure they will love you for that!
ReplyDeleteBecause the rest of the family knows and there is such a large age difference, would it be helpful to have your parents there as well? They could see the support they provide and it might help things to go smoother. Just my thoughts. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAdd to fashion advice the fact that you can admire cute boys right along with them and can also give them relationship advice from a unique perspective. That should seal the deal.
ReplyDeleteMy only question--are you sure they don't know already? I'm quite certain that nobody ever told me about my lesbian aunt, but somewhere along the line I connected my own dots. (Then again, as far as my parents are concerned, I STILL don't know where babies come from. So my family is a terrible example.)
ReplyDeleteI was going to say no, I don't have any experience discussing homosexuality with hormonal teenage girls... but then, duh, I remembered that I'm a middle school teacher that teaches sex ed! I've not only discussed it, I've been paid to do so. :) Without knowing your sisters, I can basically just say that you're right to give it some thought and view it as a teaching opportunity. My kids always surprise me with both what they do know, and what they don't, so I try not to assume anything. They appreciate open conversations where they're trusted with information like adults, and free to ask questions. And then they come back later with more questions than you ever wanted to answer. :)
One of the people I am most terrified of telling is my little sister. She's just recently graduated from high school, and the whole sees me as a role model thing leaves me absolutely exasperated.
ReplyDeleteNo real advice to offer but a small ray of hope. In 2009, I imagine even middle school girls in UT have had some really positive interactions with gay people. Or at least seen or read about gay people in a way that let's them know, while it's a big part of who you are, it's not the only part, you are still the same amazing brother they have always had. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteA teenager's reaction to this sort of news can go a couple different ways. The worst is when they don't have their own genuine response (meaning they don't know how they feel about what you tell them) so they react in true "peer-pressure" fashion by worrying what their friends, boyfriends, church leaders will think. Generally though I find my teenagers respond well to genuine communication and they tend to match my "mood" when I communicate hard things. If I speak to them calmly, they meet me with calmness. Speak to them knowing they will accept what you have to say and knowing your relationship will only be better because you've been real with them.
ReplyDeleteI have no advice to offer about coming out as I am one of the most closeted bloggers here. However, I'm curious about your new chamber choir. Can you give more details? What kind of music do you perform, do you perform with piano, orchestra or without instrumentation? I was in a prominant chamber choir when I lived in Utah.
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