I’m not sure if I’ve ever blogged about this before but I know I’ve thought about it. I’m too lazy to go through past posts to check. If the first part of this post is a repeat, then deal. I have a really fantastic counselor. Some of you have heard her speak or present and know what a wonderfully wise woman she is. In one of our sessions we were talking about her approach to counseling. My memory of the conversation is a little bit hazy, but I remember her saying something about how counseling/therapy isn’t about the content of our lives. I kind of understood what she was saying at the time, but it’s something that I’ve been chewing on ever since (I seem to use lots of food imagery in my posts).
Now I’m going to jump a little bit. Remember, it’s all about putting together all the pieces. This past week, a friend sent me an article by Phil McLemore entitled Mormon Mantras: A Journey of Spiritual Transformation, which much more eloquently expresses what I was trying to express in my inaugural post. Phil’s article is definitely well worth your time and there are several themes in there that I could probably do many other posts on. Read it. The idea I wanted to focus on from that article for now is the following:
Many people associate their spirit with their mind and personality. However both one’s mental activity (thoughts and emotions) and personality traits can be observed. Whatever we can observe is not really us. We are the observer: the capacity to observe is a characteristic of spiritual awareness.
Our minds—which include our perceptions, thoughts, and emotions, as expressed through our bodies and behavior—were intended to be reconciled to perfections of spirit. However, we are seduced so much by the noise, form, and activity of the material world that we lose awareness of our true identity and become identified primarily with our thoughts (mental noise) and bodies.
Ok, so that might seem kind of weird and mystical and hard to grasp. I’ll bring it down to a personal level now. About a month ago, I had a session with my counselor that included lots of discussion that was nearly exclusively about my homosexuality. At the end of the session she asked if I realized that was the first time we spent the whole hour talking about just that.
Jumping again, I often use my blog to come out to people. I recently told a friend about my situation, gave him the address to my blog and said that I blog about balancing being both a Mormon and attracted to men. I just quickly scanned my posts though (I guess I’m not so lazy anymore) and rarely do I blog exclusively about homosexuality. I’ll make reference to it here and there and I’ll have an occasional post dedicated to it, but it’s certainly not the focus of my blog.
So there are a bunch of pieces. I’m not sure I’ve brought it all together in one coherent idea or thought. Maybe it’s better if I don’t. I guess maybe it’s that I think sometimes we become prisoner to the content of our lives instead of seeing the content as clinical material that we use to create something better with. Act instead of being acted upon. What did you think? Was that all just a rambling mess? What did you get out of the article? Is there another idea in there you think I should explore in another post?
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Idea... Just make the next blog entry with big bold letters reading..... GAY.... that should do it for about a months worth of gay blogs subjects, right?
ReplyDeleteGood idea, Quinn. Or maybe I could just make the subtitle of every post be BTW, I'm gay!
ReplyDeleteYou DO use food analogies! Especially stew and meat. I was flabbergasted a few posts ago. I focused on the food and got lost in the analogies. Haha, but that's ok. I like food.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that you don't have to be defined by any one thing, and I love how complex people are. I have always hated the accusation, "You always _________." Because, I don't always do anything.
ReplyDeleteThe only time I ever really thought about the perfection of someone's spirit being separate from his or her thoughts and actions was when I volunteered at a special ed seminary while in college. The whole premise behind having the special ed seminary that this amazing man created was that our students had imperfect bodies, but their spirits were perfect and capable of being nourished and enlightened. So we would teach them about Jesus Christ, and help them with the physical part of speaking, sitting still, etc. I never for a minute doubted these students were getting something out of seminary-- you should have felt their spirits.
But do you know, I have never once really applied that to myself? Until this morning. Thanks Jon, I'll be chewing on this for awhile. And borrowing the rest of that article from you.
And there is a link to said article, which I am reading now. :)
ReplyDeleteNot gonna lie, my first reading of this post was with a giant question mark over my head. :) But I was intrigued enough to read the article, which has been hanging out in the back of my mind ever since.
ReplyDeleteI still don't feel qualified to comment and assign meaning to any of the tidbits that you shared. Other than to agree that we're all complex people, and many meanings can be given to any given event in our lives. I like the idea that the actual content of our lives isn't so much as the point, as it is a collection of tools and opportunities to become better versions of ourselves. In fact, I'm even going to draw a parallel to my job as an ESL teacher (not as universal or enticing as food analogies, sorry), where the content of what we're reading/discussing is never the point. It's all about the language skills that we're developing to understand and discuss the content.
I love the Mormon Mantras article. LOVE it. Definitely saved that one for future re-reading. Such a fresh perspective on things I've sorta thought about, but never with such clarity. It just gets at the very heart of the Gospel. It's not about doing; it's about becoming. I knew that, but this gives me a lot of new ideas on what that actually means.
Also, I'm so glad Courtney brought up special needs seminary! She's absolutely right, that was definitely the most clearly I've ever understood the difference between body/mind/spirit. Most of the kids were non-verbal, so we were taught to "act as a voice" for them when we'd comment in class, answer questions, give prayers, etc. I know that sounds so make-believe and silly to most people. But there were definitely a lot of times when I'd start making a comment from my own mind, and end up saying something I had no idea was coming. Those moments really were pure, honest, spirit-to-spirit communication between me and my student, and they were some of the most profound moments of my life.
As always, so much good stuff to think about. Thanks for sharing!