Yesterday I gave the priesthood lesson that I talked about in this post. I didn’t go there, I didn’t even come close. At no point during the lesson did I feel like coming out to a group of 300 priesthood holders would enhance the lesson and so I didn’t. That’s about what I was expecting though; I was 90% sure that I wouldn’t, but I wanted to remain open to the idea if I felt so moved.
I did feel good about the lesson though. It was about the Wentworth letter, which Joseph Smith wrote at the request of the editor of the Chicago Democrat detailing the history of the church up to that point and also laying out the 13 Articles of Faith. The thought occurred to me as I read the chapter that one thing that made Joseph who he was, was his intense curiosity. I think that’s probably something all great minds share, whether it’s religion or academia or music or whatever.
This idea wasn’t totally new to me, after all, at age 14 Joseph was concerning himself with some pretty weighty topics. I think it means more to me now though, because I’ve tried to develop my own spiritual/intellectual curiosity over the past year or two. I think I’ve had to. I realized that this attraction I felt to men wasn’t going to go away, as some had so irresponsibly promised. I decided it was here to stay and that it was time to take the pressure off myself to marry a woman. It doesn’t feel right or authentic and I don’t think it would be fair to me or her.
I also refused to throw my spirituality out the window (speaking of which, I don’t know what it is, but the word defenestrate kept coming up this weekend in completely unrelated situations) and so that left/leaves me with some reconciling to do. Some spiritual and emotional gymnastics, which requires some spiritual curiosity.
This process, however, is not something that is limited to Joseph Smith or gay Mormons. We all could afford to be a little more spiritually and intellectually curious, to be more engaged and connected to the people and environment around us, ask difficult questions and attempt to find answers, listen to different ideas and people and let them help inform, shape and solidify our own beliefs.
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Wow, I never thought about Joseph's curiosity and how that would relate to the gospel. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping my move this fall, will help open my eyes to the world and also to myself.
jon you rock. i wasnt in town, and even if i was, i wouldnt have been in your lesson anyways, as it was priesthood. but i just want to thank you for giving me lots of things to think about, and for helping me to feel like i can share with people my questions or my frustrations, and in general for helping me to see alot more doors, spiritualy and intellectually that i (who tend to consider myself a pretty open minded person) thought were there. sometimes the lessons continue even after we think they end :)
ReplyDeletei also had never thought about joesphs curiosity, and what impact that had on how things turned out. i think it can for sure be a good quality to have though.
I think sometimes people feel that to ask questions (especially hard questions) shows a lack of faith. But really, if you have faith in a perfect, omniscient God, shouldn't you feel confident that if you seek diligently enough He will be able to answer any questions you have? I like your curiosity Jon.
ReplyDeleteIt was a good lesson! And you're right, it didn't feel right to do it there. Thanks for being so hospitable with Russell and me, you were our favorite part of the weekend. Oh, and thanks for not defenestrating me, haha~
ReplyDeleteWhoa. Defenestration scandals. That's hot.
ReplyDeleteCurious is one of my FAVORITE words. You exemplify that so well, Jon!
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