Just some thoughts

I’m still in the SLC. Today I had multiple experiences that have thinking about some things. I’ll start with the last experience. I read this post by John over at Young Stranger. I discovered John’s blog several weeks back when I read a guest post he did at Mormon Matters. The post on his blog that I read today is an exploration and questioning of why gay mormon men who are in gay relationships or are open to gay relationships completely remove themselves from the church. There are not many people in gay relationships who attend church. I don’t really want to explore the reasons for that in this post other than to say that it kind of contributed to stuff I was thinking about today. Plus, I think it gives some context for what follows below, so it would probably be a good idea to read it.

Another experience from today. I met a childhood friend and her family for breakfast this morning. She’s known me longer than anyone except for my parents. She was born two months after me and her family lived up the street. Our mothers did preschool for just the two of us. She feels like family in a lot of ways to me. She married an incredibly great guy, who I admire a lot. We were talking about lots of things and I said something about how I feel like one of the reasons I’m still active is because of the ward I’m currently in. There is a lot of diversity of thought and I’m able to be open about my sexuality and it’s not a huge deal. I feel like it adds to my overall well being and I love being a part of my ward.

Since the ward I attend is a young single adult ward, I obviously can’t attend it forever. Nor would I necessarily want to. I’ve thought a lot about how things will change when I move on to a family ward. I’ve created a unique situation for myself where I’m able to be open and my ward is loving and supportive of my situation. Part of me thinks that’s because it’s all a bunch of twenty-somethings. Ahem, with a few exceptions. :) These people have had gay friends or known gay friends at school. There are also a lot of people in my ward who don’t fit the typical mormon mold. I feel very comfortable and at home.

I think a family ward is going to be different. Generally speaking more cookie cutter people. Older people who haven’t ever personally known any openly homosexual people. People who are set in their ways and their ways of thinking. Most of my life I’ve been a conformist. I wonder how I will handle it when I make the transition. I’m to the point where I could no longer go back and be quiet about things and pretend not to feel the way I do to appease others. I’ve started blazing a trail for myself in the singles ward that works well for me and I think it will be more difficult to continue that trail in a family ward.

That’s all. Just things I’ve been thinking about while I’m in the SLC.